Hunger
by pretty moppet
Summary: Todd and Barker were two very different men living in the same body, but when Todd returned to live with someone from his past, a turbulant affair occured. How will Todd deal with his conflicting emotions? WARNING!: Rated M for brutality and smut!
1. Part 1

Mrs. Lovett had always dreamt of Benjamin Barker. He was a fine young man with a glow about him - manly but with a lighter air about him, who was always polite to her. She had remembered often how his golden brown hair shined in the light, how his eyes were never serious, and his beautiful face was always accompanied by a smile. Benjamin Barker was an angel. He did not commit sins. He did not give into temptation. Benjamin Barker did not do

"You, Mrs. Lovett." growled an impatient voice. "I said I want to do you." The man Mrs. Lovett once knew no longer existed though. This was an inexcapable fact that Nellie Lovett could not ignore, given the predicamint she currently found herself in. The angel she once knew was gone and in his place stood an ebony haired devil, whose strong arms were keeping her pinned to the wall of her bakehouse. The man had a vague look of dispair in his eyes as he stared at Nellie, unblinking. But was there something else to be seen in his eyes? Nellie was sure for a moment she saw....lust.

"damn." thought Nellie as she chewed at her bottom lip. "Least he hasn't completely lost 'is marbles. Never gonna get me into 'is mind wit that bloody ol' judge struttin' round." Nellie Lovett was no sap. She was a practical woman and she didn't take much stock in dreams. They always turned into nightmares anyway. All her life she had dreamt of a man like Benjamin falling madly in love with her. And just as she thought she might have the chance at reaching her dreams, her world was turned upside down. The man she'd dreamt of had been exiled to Australia, and along with him, her dreams came crashing back to the ground. Only nightmares carried on in Nellie's sleep. And in her wake, the nightmares would subside - but only just.

Sweeney Todd did not dream, nor did he have nightmares. You had to have a soul so have either, and Todd had left his own soul back with Benjamin Barker. Todd was nothing like the man he used to be. 15 years living in Hell had changed him, and the affect it had on Benjamin Barker was irreversable. No, he was no longer Benjamkin Barker. He did not glow, or waste time with being polite. His hair was now a dark matted mess of black, with his eyes reflecting that same darkness but with a cold emptiness to them. Oh but they were not entirely empty. They caught how Mrs. Lovett, Nellie, as she asked him to call her so many times, danced around her shop, wiggling her hips side to side. His eyes saw how her breasts popped up above the low neck line of her dresses, begging to be released from the corset that bound them. they noticed how her lips trembled ever so slightly as she cooed his name. His eyes saw exactly what his body wanted, and his body would be satisfied, one way or another.

"Mr. T! I don't think we should be doin' this! Wot if somone catches us?" Nellie whispered frantically, trying to get the words out before her body betrayed her. But it was too late. Nellie could feel the hot wetness slickening her womanhood. It made her sick with desire. She needed to feel him inside of her. She didn't want to hate herself for craving him. She didn't want to make it any more complicated then it already was. And neither did Todd. He pulled at her hips as his eyes screamed into hers. Their was no need for words. His eyes said it all. For once in her life, Nellie Lovett decided to shut up. 


	2. Part 2

"Mr. T! I don't think we should be doin' this! Wot if somone catches us?" Nellie whispered frantically, trying to get the words out before her body betrayed her. But it was too late. Nellie could feel the hot wetness slickening her womanhood. It made her sick with desire. She needed to feel him inside of her. She didn't want to hate herself for craving him. She didn't want to make it any more complicated then it already was. And neither did Todd. He pulled at her hips as his eyes screamed into hers. Their was no need for words. His eyes said it all. For once in her life, Nellie Lovett decided to shut up. -

Nellie clung to Todd as he violated her body. Not to say she didn't enjoy it. On the contrary she was loving it. He had lived up to her every expectation. In fact, Mr. Todd was exceeding her expectations. Nellie hadn't been able to get a proper look at him before he began to ravage her, but from the way he felt inside her, she was sure he was at least a good eight inches. Nellie arched her back against the wall as she felt him thrust deeper inside of her.

"Mr. T! No one" Nellie was cut short by his grunting. "Ever been that deep in me before!" Nellie barely managed to get out between her own gasps. Todd didn't register what Nellie was saying, she was always talking about this or that, and he never paid much mind to any of it. Why should he now? Instead, he focused on how good it felt massaging the walls of her hot core with his throbbing dick. Todd let a gutteral moan escape him as he continued to screw her into the wall of her bake house.

"Nellie, God your cunt is so tight..." Todd moaned into her hair. Nellie didn't even mind the remark she was too happy he called her by her first name. He could feel her walls contract around him, pumping him, wanting him. He wanted her to beg for him like her body was. He pulled out of her in one swift motion.

Nellie almost shouted as she felt Todd's cock pull out of her. She needed him in her. She hungered for him. "Mr. T, ya know I'm yours so take me." She begged as the heat began to rise between her legs. She felt her hot fluid drip down her thighs as she pleaded for him to fill her void. Todd hungered for her as well. 15 years was a long time - too long. What little satisfaction he'd gotten from the various weak male prisoners he'd made into his bitches was nothing in comparison to the ammount of pleasure he could achieve with her. Where they all cried for him to pull out, Nellie cried for him not to pull out. She would have gotten on her hands and knees for him if he'd wanted her to. But he wasn't able to hold back for that long. Todd needed release.

"You're mine, Nellie?" A vicious undertoned accompanied his words and Nellie, practical as she was, knew it. She knew he was not a Saint. He was Sweeney Todd, not Benjamin Barker. He was a cruel bastard truth be told. But Nellie was also very appropriate. She didn't wanna muck up what was already underway. This was the most pleasure she'd had in years. Fingers were no substitute for the real thing.

"Mr. T, I'm yours always. Surely ya know it by now? Please don't make me beg I can't stand it. I need ya in me, please!" Todd could hardly hold off any longer. He readied himself at her opening and waited just a bit longer. She was gonna beg alright. He'd make her beg, the desperate little bitch. Nellie tried to move up on him but she was restrained by his strong arms. They pinned her back against the wall. She couldn't take it anymore, she craved him, needed him deep inside her. "Fuck me for fucks sake!" was all she could say before he'd rammed himself inside of her again. There bodies smashed up against the grimey stone walls or her bake house, Todd took her harder than he had intended to, and she whimpered out in pain at the unexpected force. "Mr. T! That hurts! slow it down a bit, me poor bones aren't wot they use' to be." Todd could see by the look on her face she was in pain. He hadn't intended to hurt her...

"You'll shut up an' take it like the bitch you are!" shouted Todd as he thrust harder inside her. He hadn't intended to hurt her, but it was much better than what he had intended. She cried out in pain and shock as he took her violently, slamming her back against the wall with every upward motion.

"No! Stop, PLEASE! Your hurtin' me!" Nellie squealed as he fucked her brains out. This only made him want her more, and he pulled all the way out of her once again, only to thrust deeper than he'd been previously. She cried out as he forced himself deep inside of her. She felt as if she were being ripped apart. Everything went black as he fucked her harder into the wall, her head crashing against the hard stone with each savage thrust he gave. He wanted to feel her blood rush down his cock. He wanted her to be his, and only his.

"You're mine, Nellie, an' I'll prove it." With that, he brutally assaulted her cunt, rocking her harder than she'd ever been before. He drew himself out of her completely before thrusting hard and fast into her tight little body. Nellie could hardly breathe to cry as she felt her inner walls rip open. It felt like she was losing her virginity all over again, only this time, her lover was making sure it hurt. Terror took over Nellie's features as she felt her blood spill out of her.

Todd felt the swell of fluid in Nellie and moaned out hoarsely as it trickled down him. He came hard into her, mixing his semen with her blood. She screamed as Todd filled her with his own juices. "Precious rubies" He thought as he pulled out of her. He bit and sucked at her neck while he recovered. She was his, and she did know it, and now the world would too. He stepped back to admire his work. The rash of red on her neck stuck out like a soar thumb. Nellie Lovett was no longer able to be the object of anyone else's affection. she was Todd's now. 


	3. part 3

Todd felt the swell of fluid in Nellie and moaned out hoarsely as it trickled down him. He came hard into her, mixing his semen with her blood. She screamed as Todd filled her with his own juices. "Precious rubies" He thought as he pulled out of her. He bit and sucked at her neck while he recovered. She was his, and she did know it, and now the world would too. He stepped back to admire his work. The rash of red on her neck stuck out like a soar thumb. Nellie Lovett was no longer able to be the object of anyone else's affection. she was Todd's now. -

Standing beside her in her steamy bakehouse, Todd hadn't noticed Nellie's eyes close shut, or the blank expression that now graced her. Something was obviously terribly wrong with her. You don't just go from crying in pain to looking calm as a hindu cow. But Todd didn't notice this. He was too busy buttoning himself up. He thought Nellie was still recovering from the trauma he'd caused her body. But it became apparent to Todd that Nellie wasn't quite herself when she slid down the wall to the floor, and stayed there, without even attempting to right herself.

Todd shifted in his stance. He studied her expressionless face, and limp body. He stood staring at her for a while, before he realized what had happened. His eyes flicked from Nellie to where her body had been thrown against. A circle of blood stained the stone where her head had repeatedly smacked against. Lines of red trailed down the length of the wall, and Todds eyes travelled back to Nellie's limp body. A splotch of crimson stained her auburn curls, making her hair look even an even darker red.

He never had intended to hurt her...

It wasn't as easy as you would have thought for Todd to see her lying there motionless. He was by no means in love with Nellie but he did care about her. She had helped him in so many ways. She didn't deserve to lie in a puddle of her own blood and juices.

He hadn't meant for that to happen. He just couldn't control himself around her. He thought he would be able to, thought she wasn't special enough to send him that far over the edge. But he was mistaken. While she was driving him up the wall he was driving her into it. He forced her to take all that he could give. Todd had savagely raped her as she cried out for him to stop.

"Nellie?" Todd beckoned a response from her. He would have been satisfred with the slightest twitch, but Nellie didn't move at all. Todd did not have a soul, but he did have intelligence. He knew her survival meant finding a doctor. Todd hated doctors, but he also knew he needed her to be alive. She took care of him, and helped him dispose of his victims. And now, Nellie Lovett took care of him in another way.

"you're so bloody giving." Todd sighed under his breath. Then he turned and walked up the stairs through the hallway and kitchen, pausing near the door to throw on an overcoat, and headed out of Nellie's shop, leaving her to lie naked in the dark on the cold floor of her bakeshop. 


	4. Part 4

"you're so bloody giving." Todd sighed under his breath. Then he turned and walked up the stairs through the hallway and kitchen, pausing near the door to throw on an overcoat, and headed out of Nellie's shop, leaving her to lie naked in the dark on the cold floor of her bakeshop. -

Nellie stirred from her "sleep" only to realize she was laying on the dirty floor of her now dark bakeshop. She fel groggy as she pushed herself up on her knees. A world of pain fell on her head that still dripped a warm ruby liquid. She let herself collapse back to the floor. "Cor me head is poundin'" Nellie said into the emptiness of her shop. Nellie's realization hit her than suddenly. She remembered everything up until when she had passed out. Milky tears cascaded down her face as she cried herself to sleep in silence, still exhausted from all that he had done to her.

Todd had entered the door to Nellie's shop, with a doctor at his heels. Todd hadn't explained what had happened to her, just that she needed a doctor immediately. The doctor he'd found was less than enthusiastic about having to make a house call this late at night, but Todd had insisted it was an emergency, and so the doctor complied.

They entered the bake house only to be enveloped in the darkness that resided within. Luckily for Todd and Nellie, the darkness helped hide away the left overs from dinner - mangled body parts and bones.

The doctor entered the bake house, stumbling over the last step, an just narrowly catching himself. Todd stetched out his arm along the his left. Hanging there from a chain was a lantern. He lit the wick of the candel inside with a match he'd grabbed from his pocket. The flame caught instantly, and the bake hosue lightened enough to where you could see well enough but not clearly enough to the point where you could make out hands and feet from a pile of left overs near the meat grinder.

Todd's brow furrowed at the sight of Nellie, still naked and lying on the floor in roughly the same possiion he'd left her in. The doctor hadn't noticed her until Todd interrupted the silence by walking over to Nellie's body and calling after him. "She's just as I left her." Todd stated as he hastly took off his overcoat and draped it over her naked form. The doctor looked horrified as he settled beside her. He placed his bag on the grimey stone floor next to them.

He didn't know what to do, and so almost instinctively, he reached for her arm, holding his fingertips to her wrist. He searched for a pulse. A minute passed, a minute far too long as far as Todd was concerned. He stared expectantly, angrilly at the man before him. He held his hand at his holster of razors as he waited impatiently. He didn't want to hear any bad news. He'd silence the doctor if thats all he had to share.

"Mr. Todd?" The doctor began before shutting his mouth shortly after. He continued to examine Nellie's unconscious body. He prodded the wound on her head. And then a faint whimper sounded out of Nellie. "It seems she is awake." Todd's face flinched a bit as a wave of relief washed over him, and he almost smiled at the news, before he quickly pulled his expression back into a brooding one.

"Wot happened to her?" Todd asked the doctor. He already knew he was the cause of all this, but the doctor didn't, and he wouldn't. Todd needed to seem innocent. He would not go back to jail, not now not ever.

Nellie whimpered into the floor. 


	5. Part 5

"Wot happened to her?" Todd asked the doctor. He already knew he was the cause of all this, but the doctor didn't, and he wouldn't. Todd needed to seem innocent. He would not go back to jail, not now not ever.

Nellie whimpered into the floor. -

"She'll need to be moved up to bed." the doctor studied the man before him. He looked far too concerned to be anyone but her husband, and so the doctor shared with him what he'd found out. "She has a fracture to the back of her skull. She has lost some blood, but nothing a few day's rest won't right. She'll need to be laid on her stomach, so not to cause further harm to her wound."

Todd gazed past the man onto the floor where his latest victim lie. He could see her struggling to push herself up. The first pangs of guilt struck Todd hard in his gut. He knelt beside her as she continually failed to right herself. The doctor helped Todd pull her up onto her feet. Nellie's naked, torn body leant against Todd's arms as the coat covering her frail form fell to the ground with a muffled thud. Nellie had no idea what was going on, let alone where she was. Her eyes felt crusted over in dried, salty tears, and she could hardly open them wide enough to see clearly. She saw a man befor eher, and she saw him drift aside as her lids closed againa and she was lifeted into the air.

Todd held Nellie in his strong arms. She was so light... so delicate. He walked with her held loose in his arms, up the flight of stairs that led to a hallway connecting to her bedroom. The doctor followed after him, clutching his bag and closeing the bake house doors.

"Wot's goin' on?" a tired voice called from Todd's chest. Nellie had woken again. He quickly shushed her as he lifted the covers on her bed, tucking her in underneath them. He pulled the covers up to her shoulders as he laid her on her stomach. She tried to protest, tired to demand an answer, but she was restrained by Todd's hand, pressed gently on her back.

"Nellie, lay still. You need to rest up now. The doctors been 'round. You need to stay still and rest." Todd did not at all feel comfortable trying to console her, and he decided to add, "Jus' shut that damned mouth of yours for once you silly little nit." Satisfied with his cruelty, he left her to get some sleep.

The doctor was waiting for Todd in the pie shop, waiting for his payment. There was the matter of that, and also, his curiosity needed to be settled. He stared after Todd as he entered the pie shop, a five pound note in his hand. The doctor took it and continued to study Todd, until Todd's cold charcoal eyes glared back into his. The doctor pulled out of his trance and cleared his throat abruptly. "Mr. Todd, forgive me for asking, but where were you when the intruder violated her?" Todd had managed to explain her injuried off as nothing more than a rape case. He would not be shaken by the little man's accusations. Todd's story was solid as stone as he replied to the man.

"I was in my shop above, when I heard my darling Nellie screaming from below. I ran down, an' caught the cowardice pervert running into the sewers. Came for you soon as I couldn't waker her myself." The doctor believed every word. It was hard not to belive Todd, whose face was always so serious.

He left, soon after, leaving Todd to stand alone in Nellie's pie emporium, giving him endless hours to feel ashamed of himself. He had never struck a woman in his life as Benjamin Barker. He never thought he would as Sweeney Todd either. But Todd was beginning to find that he was often mistaken. Especially when Nellie Lovett was concerned. 


	6. Part 6

He left, soon after, leaving Todd to stand alone in Nellie's pie emporium, giving him endless hours to feel ashamed of himself. He had never struck a woman in his life as Benjamin Barker. He never thought he would as Sweeney Todd either. But Todd was beginning to find that he was often mistaken. Especially when Nellie Lovett was concerned. -

Todd rummaged through the drawers in the 'd already pulled several open and still hadn't found anything to eat. "Where the fuck is the bread? That damned woman!" He slammed a cabinet shut and threw his razor at it. Its shiney part dug into the cabinet door and clung to it. Todd's stomach grumbled and he frowned, his tantrum subsiding. He stalked over to the living room and grabbed the bottle of gin roughly out of a sleeping Toby's hands. He decided to drink his dinner as he took a swig of the harsh liquid.

Toby stirred in his sleep, but his eyelids remained closed. Todd stared down at the sleeping boy. "You cause more trouble thna your worth." Todd spat down at him. He reached for his razor, but found that it was missing. He cursed himself under his breath, having realized he had thrown it at the cabinet. He contemplated getting it, but he decided to check on Mrs. Lovett instead. He'd let the boy live for now. If he didn't, Nellie would have his neck when she woke up.

Todd pushed his hand to Nellie's bedroom door, opening it a crack. He peered into her room from the slit in the doorway and saw Nellie sitting up in bed, her head hung was still, but he knew she was awake. He couldn't see her face... He needed to see her. He walked into her room, silent as he did so. Nellie had heard him regaurdless. She had heard her door creak open and she knew it was him that would enter. He was always evering places he shouldn't...

Todd studied the woman infront of him. He was unsure if she knew of his presence in her room, or if she'd even be okay with him being there. He couldn't take the silence. She was always so lively, so chipper as she'd chatted away at him. He needed to break the silence. All it did was force his guilt to the surface. "Mrs... Nellie?" He corrected himself. He was at a loss for words. What could be said to her to make his guilt fade away?

Nellie's heart pounded in her chest. She didn't even care that she was still naked. She sat in silence, staring at the striped patch on her quilt, as tears slid down her flushed face. She loathed Todd. Realizing this as his voice called out to her, sent Nellie over the edge. She snapped her head to Todd and released all her anger on him. "All I eva did is love you. All I eva thought about was you! Everythin' for Mr. Todd. Do ya think I wake up early every mornin' for me own Damn benefit! I do it because your helpless little arse needs breakfast! I wear me fingers thin tryin a scrub the blood off a your damn shirts and near break me back draggin' those bloody bodies 'round!" She paused for a breath. Todd stared, frozen with his back against her bedroom wall. Nellie continued. "I loved you an' you tookit all away. Everythin' I were livin' for is gone. Get outta me room you fuckin' rapist!" Nellie's words cut him, and he ran out of her room, the door slamming behind him.

Todd didn't run because of fear of the woman. He ran away from fear of all the new feeling he was experiencing. He felt guilty and sorry that he had hurt her. He felt hurt that she no longer love him. Todd was confused by this onset of raw emotion that ran through him. He ran out into the cold London streets in an attempt to outrun his most feared emotion of all.

Sweeney Todd did not love Nellie Lovett. He did not want to hold her close and dry her tears. He did not want to kiss her trembling garnet lips and tell her she meant more to him than anything.

Images of these very things flashed in his mind as he continued to sprint down the streets. Early mornign crept up on the filthy city, causing a blue haze to reflect down upon it. Todd could no longer run. His body exhausted, he fell to the cobblestone. He slammed his fist into a puddle as he felt for the first time, in so many lonely years, love. 


	7. Part 7

Images of these very things flashed in his mind as he continued to sprint down the streets. Early mornign crept up on the filthy city, causing a blue haze to reflect down upon it. Todd could no longer run. His body exhausted, he fell to the cobblestone. He slammed his fist into a puddle as he felt for the first time, in so many lonely years, love. -

Todd remained knelt infront of the puddle he'd thrashed at, his head an empty gun, for its last bullet had already fired into his heart. Todd could not defend himself against his traitorous thoughts. The thought that he might be in love with Nellie Lovett was stealthy in it's arrival into conciousness. It scratched it's way through the surface. He'd had no way to play the offensive. Todd remained knelt infront of the puddle he'd thrashed at, looking into it's clear surface.

Water was so lucky. Everyting about it was clear, there were no hidden truths, no lies, no facades. He wished then that he could be like water. Instead, he was a motley of unmanageable things. His mind was oil, his heart was water, and the two did not mesh. Todd knew they would only remain this way unless... He slid his fingertips over his reflection, rippling the water. Couldn't water be turbulant and clear? Couldn't it be muddy and unrecognizable? Todd thought as he stared down at himself.

Todd raised to his full height, a smile in place. His eyes wide with his epiphany, he stalked back to Fleet Street.

Toby had been laying in the sitting room when he'd heard his mom yell. She sounded outraged and hurt. Normally Toby would have run to her side, but he wanted to see how this played out. So many times had he asked, begged her even to throw Mr. Todd out. He'd had a bad feeling about him from the start and Toby read people very well for such a young boy. Still, it made Toby uneasy hearing his her scream like that, especially since she was in a room alone with Todd, but he continued to listen.

He had almost stopped breathing when he'd heard his mum curse. But the worst for Toby was when he'd heard what she'd accused Todd of. His eyes bulged and he turned pale as a ghost. He felt sick inside. Not my mum, he thought. "No!" he gasped. She... no...Todd couldn't have r-rr-raped her. Surely she would have screamed loud enough for me to have heard. A tear slid down Toby's cheek as he remembered the gin he'd had far too much of that night.

He had sworn he'd naver let him hurt her. Not while I'm around, Toby thought while guilt bubbled up inside him. He was enraged with himself. He could have prevented it form happening. He heard her bedroom door slam shut and Todd's frantic feet flee her pie shop. Gulping down a sob, Toby shuffled his feet to her bedroom door. His shaking hand rapped lightly against the wood.

Nellie's eyes were red and tears flushed down her face like waterfalls. Her sore eyes followed Todd leave her room, and they now rested on the door she'd watched him sam shut. Her lips were trembling from all the sorrow and rage that eminated from her. She'd always told herslef how horribleit must be for Mr. T, always feeling numb to the core. She always thought she'd rather sufffer tremendous pain than feel nothing at all. But after all that had now happened, she would have rather felt the numbness. She heard a small tapping noise and knew it had to be Toby. "The poor child musta heard everything." She cursed at herself, at Todd, at all of it.

He didn't need to be drug into all this. Nellie wiped feverishly at her face, using the quilt to dry her eyes. Outside, Toby wondered what would become of his mum. Would she turn crazy an' need to be 'ospitalized? Getting to her feet, she hastily dressed and answered the door. staring down at her adopted son, she shuttered to think what affect this would have on him. He reached around her waist and squeezed her tight. He never wanted to let her go. He figured that if he were always with her, she would never be able to get hurt again. He'd even give up drinking for her. He tried hard to stifle a sob, but he couldn't help it. He broke down crying into her dress. "I'm s-ssorry mum! I'm so...so sor-sorry. He... I'll neva let 'im hurt ya again! I promis! N-neva again! I'm sorry mum!"

Nellie wrapped her arms around her son. She held him close to her, trying to muffle his words. She couldn't speak just yet, and she didn't want to hear him blame himself for what happened. He was just a boy afterall. She wasn't his responcibility. The best she could do at the moment was shush him. -

Todd walked into the pie emporium, the familiar jingle of the bell greeted him cheerfully as he entered the shop. The smile from his brief insanity was no longer displayed on his face. He felt sick with himself as he walked toward her bedroom. His plan was to apologise. He'd make this right somehow - even if only little by little. He'd be patient with her. Rounding the corner of the hallway, he spotted her bedroom door closed. He moved to open it, but thought better of it. He knocked instead, letting her feel as if she was in control. When he didn't hear an answer, he opened up the door a crack. "Nellie? May I come in? I'd like to...... I'm sorry." He whispered into the room. His request was followed by silence, and so, discouraged, he left, to go upstairs and pace.

Todd reached the top step to his shop and found that his door was wide open. He scanned the seen with his eyes, looking for a robber. What he found instead shook him. Laying on his couch was none other than Mrs. Lovett, wrapped up partially in one of his jackets, eyes, big and brown, staring at him through the darkness. 


	8. Part 8

---Thanks for the reviews! I think Sweeney has a nicer side too... This is my first ever ff and my first attempt at Sweenett :) I apologise for any typos... if there were such a thing as a computer kingdom, I swear I'd be typo queen. Thanks for reading! ...Enjoy!---

Todd reached the top step to his shop, and found that his door was wide open. He scanned the scene with his eyes, expecting to see a robber. What he'd found instead shook him. Laying on his couch was none other than Mrs. Lovett, wrapped partially in one of Todd's jackets, with her eyes, big and brown, staring up at him. -

Todd stared into those brown eyes, void of any anger. This was the last place he'd expected to find her. How did she even get up here with her fractured skull? Todd was terribly confused. He couldn't make any sense of this, and so he decided to stick to his first plan and gain her trust back.

"Nellie, may I come it?" Nellie shifted on the couch and patted the cusion, beckoning him over. She whimpered out in pain as her head was still pounding. Todd was too shocked ot question her odd behavior. He walked in, letting the door bang closed, sending a wave of pain through Nellie's head. He walked quickly to the couch and helped her lay her head back down. He could smell the gin all over her. Well that would explain this odd behavior of yours, he mused.

"We," Nellie swallowed back a cry as a migrain boomed in her head, "Neva cuddled. I always 'magined us cuddling afterwards." Nellie managed through the pain. Todd felt horrible and moved ontot he couch to hold her close. He wrapped her in his coat and propped her up against him, letting her head rest on his chest. He massaged her back with his fingertips, swirling them in little circles as he let her snuggle up to him. Having Nellie drunk made it easier to gain her trust, but Todd doubted this would last once she regained a sober mind.

"Nellie.. God Nellie I'm so sorry. You make me so crazy. I didn't think you would make me lust after you in such a way...That's no excuse though." Todd whispered to the woman in his arms, "I'm sorry Nellie. Please remember that when your clear headed. I never wanted to hurt you. I was so enthralled by you. You make me feel again. I need you to remember Nellie. I don't think I can take that hurt look in your eyes anymore.

Todd hoped she would remember. This was entirely out of character for Todd, who was normally so empty and careless. He hoped she'd notice the sincerety of his apology and remember it. He couldn't tell her...couldn't reveal himself to her when she was sober. How would she see him now?

Nellie heard every word Todd had said. It never occured to her how much he really pained. She'd always thought of his as being numb, and she never realised he felt everything. He was clearly aching deep within his heart. Sweeney Todd did have a soul, and a heart. Nellie let her eyes close, now wrapped in her lover's warm embrace.

Soon though, far too soon, she opened them, and pulled out of Todd's arms. She stared into his eyes, wrapped in tears that just refused to spill down his pale face. She smiled a sad smile before she kissed him. Todd didn't like her seeing his raw emotion displayed on his face, but he was grateful to feel her warm lips pressed against his. They were morphine, ultimately illiminating the sorrow that Todd suffered from. He kised her back passionately, running his hand down her frame before he felt her pull away again.

"I won't remember This in the morning. I need ta remember this. Ya can't let me fall 'sleep Mr. T" Nellie had never looked so serious in all the time Todd had seen her. He gripped her waist with fingertips and tried to pull her into another kiss, but she resisted. "No love, this can't happen so soon after..." Nellie cut off. "I... it... still......hurts... I.." Todd nodded, his eyes dropping to the floor.

A silence filled the following minutes that pulled and tugged at Nellie's eyes. Time wanted her to give into sleep. "Sweeney, if I fall 'sleep, tell me again when I wake up. Tell me again and again until I fall in love with ya all over." She yawned and drifted off until silence filled the air again, and then she slept. Todd held tightly onto her. He wouldn't tell her. He couldn't. She needed to remember. 


	9. Part 9

I know this chapter took a really time to publish, and I could come up with several excuses, blaming it mostly on school and how I had college finals and reports due – which I did. However, to be entirely honest, I had time to work on this chapter and future chapters over winter break, and I chose not to, due to laziness. So, I am sincerely sorry, especially to those who commented, set up an alert, or added as a favorite this story or me as an author. Hope to update on a more reasonable time line from now on. Terribly sorry – Me.

The next morning wasn't quite as bad as Todd thought it would be. Nellie had forgotten what Todd had said, but she didn't push him away when she finally woke up. She was still in Todd's arms, staring up at him for several minutes before she tried to stand, and ended up slipping on the jacket that had fallen to the floor. Before she could hit the ground, Todd reached out and saved her, pulling her up to where their faces almost touched, and their lips almost met. She unwound his arms from her and steadied herself, before leaving silently, using her hand against the railing to support herself as she descended the stairs. This left Todd to stare after her, all alone in his shop.

Although she was confused about waking in Todd's arms, she was sure he hadn't taken advantage of her. Her clothes were in tact and she wasn't in immense pain like she would have been had he violated her again. Every step she made sent a pulsing pain to course through her little body, punctuating on the sorest of spots, but she made her way downstairs and just inside the door of her shop when she crashed to the floor in a pile of fabric and flesh. Luckily, Toby was conscious at that point, and he helped her off her bum and into the nearest booth. Glaring at her as he held her steady, Toby thought of about a million things he wanted to say to her. Yelling at her would have suited him best but she was in a fragile state after all, and Toby didn't quite understand how to treat someone in Nellie's delicate condition. If she hadn't been raped... If she hadn't been in-love with Todd, Toby may have gone off on her. But only is she were of a sound mine. And although Toby didn't fully understand how to treat his mum, he did know she was far from having a sound mind. She never really had one before she was raped.

"_Honestly though,_" Thought Toby bitterly, "_I promise to never drink again, an' so she goes an' gets me drunk by fiddlin' wif me dinner, an' then goes runnin' up to 'im..._" Toby's mind suddenly went to a very dark and scary place, and he couldn't help but think..."Mum! Mum!"

"Shh, Tobias!!! Me head!" Nellie scolded him.

"He didn't touch ya bad or noffin' did he?!?!?" implored Toby in a hushed and frantic slur of words. Nellie stared at the counter across the room, through the counter, through the wall, and saw him, only him, with those dark worried eyes of his looking her over, begging for her understanding. Eyes begging her for something... for a memory to clarify why she were in his shop...in his arms...on his bed.

"No dear, 'e was a perfect gentleman" She divulged as she daydreamed about what may have happened last night between her and Mr T.

Toby's bloodshot eyes, bulging with disbelief, looked over Nellie, screaming into her own eyes. Toby had almost slipped, almost raised his voice with her, but caught himself in the nick of time. He felt a tear slip down his angelic face as Nellie looked away. She never wanted him to even know... She never wanted him to hurt like this. Toby on the other hand was able to deal with the fact she was raped. But he wasn't able to deal with the fact, or what seemed to be fact, that his new mum might have to be put in bedlam. He held out his arm and stroked her cheek with the back of his hand, than he knelt in front of her, looking once again into those dark and tortured eyes.

"Are ya hungry mum? I'll go an' get the tea on, an' make us some toast an' jam" Toby hugged her, wrapping his child sized arms around her tightly. Nellie opened her mouth to yelp as she felt her son's grip tighten on her, but she couldn't. He was so good to her, and so fragile too, having been so young when he was abandoned. So she wrapped her arms around him as well and kissed his cheek.

"Tea would be lovely, Toby dear." She thanked him before letting him go off to embark on the kitchen.

"Right," Toby shrugged, "how hard could this be?"


End file.
